Redefining Fulfillment
Retirement Musings
I’ve always been forward-looking throughout my life and never liked looking back. I saw time as a vast expanse of opportunity stretching far ahead — an endless horizon ready for the taking — with plenty more waiting beyond. And I wanted to get at it.
During my working years, I dedicated most of my time to my career, with the notion that the future was an infinite reserve of time. My focus was on doing well and building a secure nest egg, both to fulfill myself and to gain the freedom to let go of a paycheck somewhere far away within that vast, boundless future.
Turning 60 changed that perspective. Suddenly the time ahead felt finite, even small. That realization sparked my decision to retire — I wanted to seize the opportunity to do more while I could.
Now, in retirement, I think about time as limited and don’t want to squander it. But with that realization came the weight of getting it right. It can be daunting to navigate the vast sea of unstructured time and to choose how to spend it well.
Retirement has given me autonomy, but unstructured time sometimes felt overwhelming to shape into something fulfilling. In the early days of my retirement, the freedom I gained brought an unexpected anxiety that I wasn’t living the life I envisioned, not moving quickly enough toward finding my new focus. I kept searching for something to fill the gaps — especially what would give me a new direction.
But I realized that I’d been fixated on what was missing . By doing a simple life wheel exercise, I saw my life in a fuller way and came to understand two important things. First, I still wanted a sense of achievement and engagement with the world and needed to work on that. But second — and unexpectedly — I had already been doing well in other parts of my life that mattered to me, like connection, financial stability, and learning.
It’s taken time but I can finally see beyond the ‘performance’ aspect of my life; I’ve come to understand only recently that peace, curiosity, and nurturing relationships are worthwhile pursuits. In the past, I viewed these as outliers to my goals — necessary obligations or responses to exhaustion or others’ needs, or just something nice. But now I know I need them, and I let their enrichment fill me.
The greatest reward of retirement is also its greatest challenge: the autonomy to choose how to spend your time. And while I can’t say I have all the answers, sharing my experiences and reflections has given me a new sense of purpose. Still, I’ve come to realize that fulfillment isn’t found in accomplishments alone but also finds its harmony and rhythm in the quiet moments that complete the melody of a life well-lived.